Are you starting or seeking new work after summer? Does the idea of answering ‘tell me about a time when’, or starting completely afresh, make you nervous?
I remember interviewing for what was then my dream firm, fresh out of my bachelors. My interviewers cut off my behavioural question responses with “I don’t like this example, try another one,” and “that’s the best example you have?” Three months into my first job (not at the same firm!), my boss responded to my request for feedback on my analysis with, “you’re the expert, you tell me!” My first year of work was a big reality check. I hadn’t achieved anything like I thought I did, nor did I feel anything like the expert I felt expected to be.
The rising incidence and awareness of impostor syndrome among our generation goes without saying. As our recovery from a global crisis presents an opportunity — or impetus — to make a change and work on new things, I’ve got the sense that many of us share this feeling. But I began to realise that impostor syndrome is a mentality that can be channelled for even more fulfilment from our new pursuits. Here’s why.
- You appreciate that you don’t know, or haven’t done, everything you can yet.
If impostor syndrome is the sense of feeling like an undeserving fraud, then it is rooted in a gap between the way the world’s perception, our perception, and reality. And it’s important to recognise what you haven’t done in life yet, so that you can work on it.
But in some circumstances, this could be a recognition of your unrealised potential — that others see something in you that you haven’t yet, and that they’re willing to back you. While it’s often said that “it’s not what you know but who you know,” more important is “who knows you,” and how. And if you’re surrounded by people who want to pay it forward with you, you’re setting up your network for success — something you shouldn’t underestimate. But that’s not to say what you owe to your network …
2. You feel an obligation to those who helped you succeed — and a responsibility to make the most of it.
Do you feel nervous when you meet a new teacher or mentor? Or more self-conscious as your relationship with them develops? I do. And while many share the wise advice that you should stop caring what others think about you, the irony is that the more I get to know them, the more I do care.
But when it comes to friends and mentors, I feel the sacrifice they made to invest time and effort in me, and the pressure to impress them not for my own image, but to make them fulfilled, that their sacrifices were worth it.
If a symptom of impostor syndrome is feeling undeserving of what you’re given, then in the case of my mentors and I, it’s true. What have I done for them to be worthy of their time? They’re doing it purely by the goodwill of their heart and the potential they see. So if you feel the same way, take heart — keep doing your best, and your relationships with your mentors and yourself will improve.
3. You sense that life should be about something greater than yourself — and greater than what society thinks of you.
I’m often stuck in an infinite loop whenever I receive advice like this: someone gives feedback about how I come across to others; I ask them how; I don’t understand their response; and then they tell me to stop caring what others think. Which doesn’t make sense to me — you first told me to be conscious of how I come across to others, then you say that I shouldn’t care how others think?
Yet, like the previous point, you need to ask yourself, do you care about what others think for your own image? Or something greater, such as making them feel respected, or using your reputation to advocate for a bigger cause or mission?
While my experiences made me feel that I’m unworthy of attention or accomplishment, it also encouraged me to think about — and discover — what in my life is worthy. By helping me realise that I hadn’t really made much of a difference in the world, my experience of impostor syndrome helped me redirect my effort from experiences to polish a resume, to experiences to do something impactful and meaningful.